“Words said in seconds are never forgotten in a lifetime. Choose your words wisely.”  Ike Reighard
        “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21

        “I am convinced that perhaps the most important key to meaningful, healthy, holy, blessed relationships are the words that we speak to each other,” Dr. Fred Wolfe has said. “Relationships revolve around words. Words have meaning. Words can hurt, or words can heal. Words can build up, or words can blast. We’ve got to understand that the heart of all relationships is the way we talk to each other and what we say to each other.
        “It is God’s will for relationships to be healthy and to be holy and to be happy and to be blessed and to be meaningful in our lives. And that should be our prayer and our goal every day of our life – ‘God, let me have the relationships with the people you brought into my life that would honestly glorify you.’
        “Did you know that the Bible says that you can speak life or that you can speak death? Listen to Proverbs 15:4: ‘A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.’  Did you know that your words can break the spirit of the person that you speak them to? Sometimes, we don’t understand that what we say is far more important than we realize. The Bible tries to tell us -- there is life and death in the words you speak.
        “Proverbs 12:18: ‘There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword. But the tongue of the wise promotes health.’ Do you know what that says? Some people’s words are like a sword. They go straight to your heart. But it says here the tongue of the wise promotes health. Use your words not only to thank and praise God but to encourage people, bless people, build up people. Use your words to say positive things about people, to give them hope. Speak words of appreciation.”
        “The power of words can be unleashed as perhaps the most primitive of weapons,” said Nichole Nordeman. “Words can not only hurt, but they can leave ‘shrapnel’ in the soul long after the explosion hits and the smoke clears. It’s been said that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. I think the spirit would agree.”
        “There is nothing that will do more damage to your relationships than unwarranted anger,” said Dr. Adrian Rogers. “God’s Word tells us that we are to be slow to wrath.”
        “Many times, how someone says something carries as much weight as what they actually say,” said Gregory Frizzell. “Do you have a kind, gentle spirit, or are you argumentative and contentious? Are you often critical and harsh with people? Are you insensitive to the feelings and needs of others? Do you tend to look for reasons to pick people apart? Are you quick to get angry and speak your mind? Be honest in your evaluation of your heart attitude. 
        “God places enormous importance on our speech. In Matthew 12:36, Jesus makes a sobering statement: ‘But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.’ Often, without even knowing it, many believers have become involved in significant sins of speech. Ask God for discernment as you prayerfully examine your words. Are you guilty of critical, angry speech? Are you quick to raise your voice? Does your speech reflect an underlying anger and impatience with those around you? Do you speak unkindly? Are you guilty of any form of gossip or slander of others? Do you speak evil of people behind their back? Immediately confess and forsake these serious sins of speech. Do not make excuses or justify your behavior. If you are honest in your confession and repentance, God will totally transform your heart. He will give you wisdom to deal with honest differences of opinion without becoming angry and divisive. God will also lead you to ask forgiveness from those you have offended.”
        How important are not only the words a person speaks to others but the words a person speaks about others.
        “We must be real,” said Dr. Johnny Hunt. “God help me, in Jesus’ name, to despise being a phony. Help me to never, as the Proverbs say, say a good word in your presence, but my heart have seven deceitful statements waiting to blast you when you’re not there.” 
        “Ephesians 4:29 says, ‘Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth,’” said Dr. Wolfe. “What a strong statement. ‘Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good. Speak what is good, for necessary edification. Let the words that come out of your mouth build people up.
        “The Bible says, 'If any among you seems to be religious but does not bridle his tongue, his religion is in vain' (James 1:26). So, your words are important.
        “Ephesians 4:31 says, Let all loud quarreling and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.’ Don’t speak any words with the intent to hurt. I pray that God will open our eyes and let you and I realize that our life is filled with relationships, people that we do love and care about and are important to us. We have to ask God to show us how important the words are that we speak to them. We have to examine those words to see if they build them up and bless them and encourage them and help them and not tear them down and hurt them. Don’t ever minimize the power of words. We can’t pass it off as though it doesn’t count. ‘Well, it just doesn’t matter. That’s just my personality. I’m just going to tell it like it is.’ Yeah, you tell it like it is, and you leave somebody beaten and bruised at your feet! Stop it! Why would you say that to hurt them? You say, ‘I’m not going to keep it to myself.’ If it’s not godly, pray about it. Words can hurt, or words can heal. Words can bless, or they can blast.
        “If Jesus is not in control of your life, then the flesh is going to be in control of your life, and you will find yourself saying things that are totally not what Jesus would have you to say. Listen to this. I’m just quoting Jesus. 'I say to you that every idle word that men may speak, they will give account thereof in the day of judgment.' Every idle word -- hurtful, meaningless word, words that hurt instead of heal -- Every idle word that men may speak, they will give account in the day of judgment. By your words, you will be justified, and by your words, you will be condemned.' 
        “The Bible says so clearly in Ephesians 4:29-- Speak that which edifies and ministers grace to those that hear.”
        How important are not only words that are spoken but words that are unspoken. 
        Lack of communication, Dr. Johnny Hunt has said, is the leading cause for broken relationships. The most important part of communication, he said, is listening. “One of the reasons there are so many broken relationships is that people have stopped listening to each other,” he said. 
        And listening involves more than just hearing. It means being receptive to hearing, and hearing with Christ-like love. “It’s amazing the difference it makes when you’re listening to somebody that loves you,” said Dr. Hunt. 
        When you’re listening, you’re not cutting someone off and refusing to hear what they have to say. As Dr. Hunt noted, “The Bible says be swift to hear. It means be a careful listener.”
        “Listening says, ‘I value your opinion, I care about our relationship, and you matter to me,’” said Rick Warren. “The cliché is true: People don’t care what we know until they know we care.” 
        “When friends insult each other, we often ignore it,” said Michael Ramsden. “We pretend it hasn’t happened. We don’t say, ‘Sorry.’ We don’t talk about it. We just let the passage of time go by, and, hopefully, we eventually start talking to each other, and we somehow just ‘put up’ with each other. The tragedy in that situation is the friendship has been lost. You can’t enter into peaceful relationship and friendship with somebody when that which has gone wrong has simply been covered up. But, if you’re able to talk about it, and there is forgiveness offered and received, that relationship may end up deeper because of that, not shallower.” 
        “You’ve got to be in fellowship with Jesus Christ,” said Dr. Wolfe. "He has to be in control of your life. You have to say, ‘Lord Jesus, you know I’m perfectly capable of saying things I shouldn’t say. You know I’m perfectly capable of responding in a wrong way to people that I love. Jesus, I can’t tame my tongue, but you can. I can’t control my attitude, but you can. So, Jesus, I am not going to try to build this relationship in my own power. I am going to depend on you, Jesus, to live your life in me and through me, to speak words of kindness and that bless, to have attitudes that are helpful, kind, and gentle.’ 
        “Stop trying to do it in your own power. You said, ‘I’m not going to say it anymore, I’m not going to do it anymore.’ But you said it again, and you did it again. I am telling you -- without Jesus, you can’t do it. You can’t. 
        “So, every day, you confess your sins, and confess the sinful thoughts and sinful attitudes and sinful words, and you be sure that your sins are forgiven, and then you die to yourself. And you ask Jesus to be the king in your heart and to take control of your life, and you ask the Holy Spirit of God to fill you. The taming of the tongue begins with our daily surrender and walk with Jesus Christ. 
        “Then, if we’ve spoken words we shouldn’t have spoken, we confess our sin. We ask God to forgive us. We ask the person that we spoke the words to, to forgive us. We just don’t leave it unchecked. 
        “Say, ‘Jesus, take control of my heart’ – that’s the root. Then, ‘Jesus, take control of my tongue.’ 
        “We can speak life and not death. We can speak blessing and not cursing. Grant it, Lord, that our words would honor you and bless people.
        “Two verses that would be good to pray every day. Psalm 141:3: ‘Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips.’ Psalm 19:14, ‘Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart (my thoughts, my attitudes) be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer.’ "